03rd May 2016

“Churning the butter”, “Vulcanising the whoopee stick”, “Threading the needle”, “Sinking the sausage.”

No matter what you want to call it, we’re all familiar with sex. We’ve been there, we’ve done it, we’ve had our own personal failures and successes while tumbling between the sheets. But there are a lot of things about doing the deed that may surprise you and even recondition the way you approach your next feather bed jig.

Sexercise is actually a thing. That’s right; a 30-minute session of passionate pounding can burn about 200 calories. That’s roughly the equivalent of 60 minutes of walking, 30 minutes of jogging on a treadmill, or 20 minutes of swimming. Why not burn off that next slice of cheese pizza with a cheeky core-gasm?

Having sex three to five times a week can prevent erectile dysfunction. If you needed another reason to have regular sex, this is a good one. Long periods of abstinence can actually be harmful for the male species, increasing the flop-factor of their fiddle and decreasing their sperm count.

A woman’s breasts can swell up to 25 per cent when aroused. Getting your lady worked up can actually boost her boob size, which also results in heightened sensitivity. The upper part of the lady lumps is the most excitable, while a gentle nipple nibble can activate the same part of the brain as clitoral, vaginal and cervical stimulation.

A quarter of penises have a slight bend in them when erect. Worried about your wonky willy? Don’t be. It’s actually much more common than you think. And while we’re on that note – eight inches? Please. The average tally whacker measures five to seven inches in length when erect.

There is scientific reasoning why men are attracted to bigger bums and boobs. In the anthropological world, wide hips and generous breasts indicated signs of fertility in a woman. That innate factor has trickled down the evolutionary trail, making voluptuous women naturally more attractive to men.

Women are more likely to orgasm just before or during their period. Yes, that time of the month can actually be the best time for lusting and thrusting. Not only are women more susceptible to orgasms during this period (pun intended), but a solid climax can even relieve those pesky cramps. However, 70 per cent of men refuse to have sex with their girlfriend when she is on her period. Perhaps it’s time to reconsider?

Foot fetishes are a lot more common than you think. In the Western world, the most popular sexual fetish is the allure of the old footsies. But why are we attracted to those appendages we stuff into shoes all day long? One suggestion is that sensations in the feet and genitals both transmit to the same area of the brain, resulting in a cross-wiring effect. Another suggestion is Random Association Theory: porn has super increased its zoom-ins of feet since the 1990s, while in less-explicit films, sex is often portrayed via imagery of bare feet sticking out from the bedcovers. Therefore, we begin to associate feet with sexual gratification because science says so.